5 of Cups

This week’s Tarot-Draw is the Five of Cups.

Wow. I hadn’t realized how much I’d rewritten the cups suit as lovey-dovey and happy-go-lucky in my mind.

I blame it on my inner romantic.

Still wrong though.

Feelings are not simple, static, or separated from their counterparts.

Emotions swing like a pendulum back and forth and round and round pushed by the extremes of our moods and predilections.

They fear inertia while seeking it at the same time.

Feelings do not owe us an explanation or rationality, but we still expect them to make sense.

When was the last time you let yourself feel without creating a story to somehow validate your emotions?

Feelings are the conscious processing of emotional reactions (according to my Google assistant).

Emotions need time to process both physically and mentally.

You can grieve during and after an event, but did you know you can grieve before it happens?

You can also grieve the hypothetical as well as the inevitable.

I’ve caught myself mourning what could have been.

Chasing alternate timelines and outcomes instead of accepting and moving on.

Is it spilled milk if you kicked the cup over to satisfy some dark urge?

Can you still cry over it?

I wonder if anyone else has to trick themselves into crying.

It’s like my heart and my face have different agendas.

Maybe I’m just too used to wearing a mask and get impatient with how long it takes to quit pretending like everything is all right.

Oh for the days of living like you’re on vacation and perky one word responses to “How are you doing?”.

I dread that question anymore.

We need to find a better way to check in and NOT pop the bubble of okay we’ve built around us.

Please, do not discount the power of giving yourself a hug.

Do it. Do it now. Hug yourself. Do it as often as you need (which for me is a lot).

This week in Psychic Sleep we’ll touch on themes of: self hugs; dark urges; and being okay with not being okay.